Consumed (Gem Creek Bears Book 7) Page 5

  The text wasn’t from Karen. Instead, it was from Damon.

  Miss Mathers, I believe in the adage of the third time being the charm. Have you changed your mind about my offer? This will be your last chance to take me up on my offer—willingly.

  I swallowed hard. Willingly? What the hell did that mean? Was he going to force me to paint the picture for him?

  A shiver slid along my spine. I didn’t want to think about how he might go about such a thing. I chewed my bottom lip, wondering if I should reply.

  What should I even say to that?

  I crammed my cell into my back pocket and tried to shake off the text, but my bear was too wound up by his threat to let it happen. After I unloaded Gran’s fishing gear into the tiny shed behind the cabin, I headed inside and put the food neither of us ate back in the fridge. Gran had already gone to her room. So, I quietly made my way out the front door and disappeared into the woods behind the cabin. Everything was starting to take a toll on my bear and me, and we desperately needed a release.

  I peeled my tank top off when I was far enough into the woods where no one would see me, and then continued to undress. The instant I was free of my clothes, I gave into my bear and ran deeper into the familiar woods. I took a backseat, enjoying the weightlessness of not having to decide anything, of not having to be for a moment, and let my bear do her thing. It felt amazing to step aside, especially in these familiar woods.

  It felt like finally being home.

  A sense of lightness filled my bear. She loved these woods and the way the earth of this place felt beneath her paws. When the rushing waters of a waterfall trickled to my ears, I realized where my bear had taken me. Her body froze, and I knew it was because she was just as surprised to find us here as I was. Coming here hadn’t been intentional. I could sense it from her.

  Nash was just on our mind too much. He’d wormed his way into our subconscious.

  My bear continued toward the waterfall, mesmerized by the sound. It had been way too long since we’d been here. My mind clouded with thoughts of the last time, and remembered pain surfaced. When my bear stepped into the clearing, the sight of the waterfall had my head clearing.

  I’d forgotten how beautiful it was.

  Its beauty didn’t silence the memories of the past for long, though. They sprang up, threatening to pull me under. I tried to ignore them as my bear took us closer to the waterfall. She wanted to feel the spray of it misting against her fur. When she was close enough to feel it, a sigh rippled through her at the missed sensation. It made me wish I could fully enjoy the moment—that I could enjoy this place again—but I didn’t think it would ever be possible. Not with the ghosts of the memories I’d left behind still here.

  “I know what you’re going through is difficult, but I need you to know I’m going through something too.”

  The words floated through the air, pulling me deeper into the old memory, and I cringed as the entire scene played out in my mind.

  Nash stood on the rock in front of the waterfall, his profile lit by the afternoon sun. He shifted to face me as he heard me approach. His eyes were wild, and his jaw was hard set.

  “You don’t know what I’m going through, Sam, and I doubt whatever you’re dealing with can compare,” Nash muttered without letting me finish. “You didn’t lose both of your parents recently.”

  My teeth ground together, and my pulse sped up. No, instead I’d lost the child we’d created.

  “You’re right. I lost them a long time ago,” I snapped.

  I was hollowed out, broken, and dealing with something that scared me to death. All I wanted was his support and for him to comfort me.

  I needed him.

  “I know, and I’m sorry, but it’s just not the same. You didn’t know them. You can’t miss someone you don’t know,” Nash said, his words stabbing me like a million tiny daggers.

  My fists clenched at my sides. “I can. And I do. I miss my parents even though I didn’t know them. Same as I miss our baby, even though I didn’t know it either.” My tone was bitter, and my words were delivered with razor-sharp edges. I watched as Nash flinched when they made impact.

  “Our baby?” His eyes locked with mine. Questions burned through them.

  “Yes. Our baby,” I whispered.

  There was a heartbeat of silence before Nash narrowed his eyes at me, and my world split apart again. “Did you have an abortion? How could you have decided that without saying something to me first?”

  I stared at him, unbelieving he’d think I would do such a thing. His words stung, but it was the look in his eyes that tortured me most.

  Nash wasn’t the person I’d always thought he was.

  The death of his parents had changed him. He was too cynical now. Too hardened by his loss. As he walked away from me, leaving me near the rushing waterfall, I vowed I’d never return to Gem Creek again.

  A twig snapped in the distance, pulling me from my thoughts and bringing me back to the present. No longer were my bear and I alone. Someone was coming. I knew I needed to find a place to hide in case it was a camper. Seeing a bear up close and personal wasn’t something most humans could handle.

  As my bear inched her way off the rocks in front of the waterfall, a gentle breeze blew and she caught a whiff of a familiar scent—Nash’s bear.

  It wasn’t a camper heading toward me. It was Nash. As soon as he emerged from the forest, he froze. I knew it was because he’d spotted me. Shifter energy filtered through the air, stemming from him, and seconds later he stood before me naked. The sight stalled out my heart and stole my breath. My bear slipped to the side, allowing me to regain control.

  “What are you doing here?” I narrowed my eyes on him. “You know you’re not supposed to shift during the day or be on this trail. A camper could’ve seen you.”

  “I could ask you the same.” He countered.

  “I didn’t take the regular trail. I took our trail.” I folded my arms over my chest and glared at him.

  A smirk twisted his lips, and he nodded to the way he’d come. “So did I.”

  I clamped my lips shut. He was right. We’d both taken the back way we always used to. It was a path we’d carved through the woods all our own years ago.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked. “Did you follow me?” The thought irked me more than I cared to admit. I didn’t want him following me. I didn’t want him near me because of the way my body and heart betrayed me every time he was.

  I couldn’t trust either of them when I was around him.

  “I didn’t follow you.” His expression shifted into his signature look. It was all moody and pissed off looking, but was sexy as hell. “I come up here a lot. It’s my place to think.”

  My teeth sank in my bottom lip, and I relaxed my arms at my sides. Of course he came here. It was the place where his world fell apart.

  “Oh,” I said.

  “I think of you. I think of how we were before. Of the fun we had here. And I also think of all the pain that happened here too. This was where I learned my mom was gone. It’s also the last time I saw you.” He paused to run a hand through his hair.

  My throat grew tight, and tears formed as I continued to stare at him, watching him be vulnerable. He’d shown me this side of himself more than once since I’d been back, but it was this moment that made me pause and see him for real. He was vulnerable and broken. Raw.

  “It’s the place I learned about life and death, love and loss,” he continued. “I learned how quickly things can change, and I come here often to remind myself of that. I come here to grieve too.”

  He slipped past me and walked to the right of the waterfall. It had always been my favorite place to sit and watch the rushing water while also soaking in the backdrop of the mountains in the distance.

  Something caught my eye—a tiny white cross had been staked into the ground beside my favorite spot.

  It was so small, most would probably miss it. I saw it though, and I blinked at the s
ight of it, trying not to let tears that had built fall.

  “I put the cross there. For you. For our baby. For my parents. But most of all, for myself. A big piece of me died right here at the base of this waterfall, and sometimes I come here to mourn who I used to be.”

  I couldn’t breathe. My lungs burned, and my bottom lip quivered as I tried my damnedest to keep in the sobs that wanted to push past my lips. I wiped my eyes, but it did no good. My vision still blurred heavily with more tears.

  I knew Nash had been hurting, but I didn’t think he’d been hurting this entire time. I also knew I should say something, but I wasn’t able to find my voice. It had left me.

  Nash shifted to face me. “Sam, I know I handled your decision wrong. I know that now. But back then, I felt like so much had been taken from me without my consent and that just felt like it was one more thing. I didn’t handle it the way I should have, and for that I’m sorry. I know you probably came to that decision with a lot of difficulty, and I’m sorry for how I behaved when you told me.”

  I shook my head. The words I needed to say had formed, but I was having trouble pushing them past my lips. “I didn’t have an abortion, Nash. I lost the baby. I miscarried.”

  Seeing how broken he already was, I knew my words would hurt him even more, but he needed to know the truth.

  He blinked, and then his eyes darkened. His bear flashed to the surface next.

  “You lost it?” He asked in a whisper.

  There was so much pain and heartache twisted within his tone it broke my heart. I nodded but didn’t speak.

  “But you never said anything,” he insisted, as though what I’d said couldn’t be true.

  “You never gave me the chance.” I tucked a few stray strands of hair behind my ear, trying not to feel defensive. We were talking, and it was a conversation that needed to happen. I didn’t want to be defensive and shut it down, but my guards were flying up. “You just assumed and got pissed.”

  Nash smoothed a hand over his face and exhaled a slow breath. “I did. There’s a lot I could say to that, excuses I could give and what not, but I won’t. All you need to hear is that I am so fucking sorry, Sam.” His voice cracked when he spoke and my eyes filled with tears again. He moved to stand closer to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. “I’m sorry you had to go through that alone. And, I’m sorry I was such an ass. I’m sorry for everything.”

  The walls around my heart fractured.

  “I know I might not deserve it, but I’m going to ask anyway—will you forgive me?” His sad eyes bored into mine when he spoke.

  I opened my mouth to tell him that we’d both been at fault and that I should have told him the instant I found out I was pregnant, same as I should’ve told him the instant I lost our baby, but I didn’t know where to start. It all had been a misunderstanding. We’d both been in a bad place.

  “... people handle grief differently. They hurt differently.” Gran’s words floated through my head. She was so right.

  Talking in the distance captured my attention. People were coming. Nash’s body stiffened. I knew he could hear them too. As they grew closer, I realized it was a family. Probably campers out for an afternoon hike together.

  “Crap,” I said, panic humming through me. I glanced around, searching for a place to hide because it was our only option.

  We couldn’t shift into our bear forms. It would scare them too much to stumble upon two bears in the wild. We also couldn’t stand here naked either. They sounded like they had kids with them, and I doubted having an anatomy talk with their children was on the agenda for their mini-vacation.

  Hiding was our only option.

  “Come on.” Nash took my hand and pulled me toward the waterfall. “Remember this?”

  He slipped beneath the rushing water, pulling me along with him, and I immediately remembered the cave behind the waterfall we’d found as kids. Actually, Liam had found it first, but we’d claimed it as ours. It became one of our secret places to meet for midnight kisses and to hide from our responsibilities.

  “I can’t believe I forgot about this place,” I said as I slid behind the waterfall after him.

  The campers were close. I knew they’d break through the clearing of the woods any second now, but I also knew from previous experience that they wouldn’t be able to see us.

  We were safe behind the waterfall, tucked away from the world.

  We stood, waiting together, cramped inside the tiny cavern that seemed much bigger when we were smaller, listening to the campers talk.

  “Sounds like they brought lunch with them,” Nash whispered, his hot breath caressing against my skin. Goose bumps prickled along my skin.

  “We’re probably going to be here for a while.”

  “I’m okay with that,” he breathed as his face lowered closer to mine. His hand slipped from where it had gently gripped my shoulder to my hip. Electricity sparked through my core. “What about you?”

  I said nothing. Instead, I lifted to the tips of my toes and crushed my mouth against his. He didn’t pull away. I knew he wouldn’t. He wanted this as much as I did. I could feel the proof of it pressing against me. His fingers dug into my hips as his mouth took over the rhythm of our kiss.

  This—touching him, tasting him, feeling his tongue slip against mine—it was all so familiar I nearly cried.

  “I want this, I do,” Nash said after a few moments as he pulled away. “God, you have no idea how much I want this, but this isn’t the place or the time.” He nodded to the family sitting on the rocks in front of the waterfall just a few feet away from us, eating their picnic lunch.

  “I know,” I said, my lips feeling swollen. “You’re right. Not here. Not now.”

  “Don’t you say not ever, though.” His voice was firm, but not harsh. There was a question embedded within his tone.

  “I won’t.” But only because I couldn’t.

  There was no way I’d be able to deny myself this man twice in a lifetime.

  My bear let out a roar of agreement, and I felt Nash shiver. I knew it was because his bear had sensed her. He was just beneath the surface, same as mine.

  Time ticked away agonizingly slow while we waited for the family to finish their meal and leave. Once they did, we waited a few extra heartbeats before we slipped from behind the waterfall back into the open. Once there, we shifted into our bears and made our way down the trail we’d carved into the mountain together over the years.

  For the first time in what felt like forever, there was a sense of lightness coursing through my veins. Even my bear seemed happy, light and weightless. The sensation lasted until we made it to the bottom of the trail where Nash had tucked his clothes behind a rock and shifted back. He picked up his cell and glanced at the screen to check the time, but I noticed when his expression morphed into one of concern.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “Liam called me seven times and sent three messages.” His thumb swiped around on the screen. “He’s looking for you.”

  My stomach bottomed out. Something was wrong, and I was certain it had everything to do with Gran.

  Chapter Seven

  I bolted from where Nash stood, waiting on Liam to answer his call, and headed back to the campground at full speed.

  “Sam, wait!” Nash called after me. I didn’t stop. I didn’t even turn around to look at him. All I could think about was what if something had happened to Gran? What if she’d passed away while I’d been inside the cave, sucking face with Nash? “You’re naked!” Nash yelled.

  My feet faltered, and I glanced down to look at myself.

  “Shit,” I muttered.

  There was no way I could run through the middle of the campground like this. It would draw too much attention and there would be complaints about people’s kids seeing someone in the nude. I glanced around, trying to remember exactly where I’d stashed my clothes. They had to be close.

  “Where are they?” My tone was frantic, but my movements were
more so. I had to find my clothes. I had to get to Gran.

  “Here. Wear my shirt,” Nash said in between sentences with Liam. He tossed me his cotton t-shirt, and I quickly pulled it over my head. It fell to mid-thigh, but it was just enough to cover the bits that needed to be.

  “Okay, yeah. We’re headed that way,” Nash insisted before hanging up with Liam.

  I booked it to the edge of the woods with Nash hot on my heels. Once I spotted the tree I’d set my clothes behind, I quickly grabbed them and then continued toward Gran’s cabin.

  “It’s Gran, isn’t it? Something’s wrong. I can feel it,” I said, trying not to give in to the hysteria clawing at my insides. My bear paced. She’d shifted into high alert, feeling just as concerned for Gran as I was.

  “I don’t know much. All I know is that Tris went over after work to deliver the card and flowers everyone from Earl’s got her, but no one answered the door. She heard Dottie coughing and struggling to breathe. I’m not sure how, but she fell. Tris said she doesn’t think anything is broken, but Dottie refused to let her call an ambulance or take her to the ER since she won’t let her heal her.”

  Stubborn. Gosh, that woman was so damn stubborn.

  “She just said she wanted you,” Nash said.

  My stomach somersaulted, and I forced my feet to move faster. I knew that if she said she wanted me, it was because something was wrong. My throat pinched tight. I tried not to cry as I continued in the direction of the cabin, pushing my legs harder. The gravel from the road dug into the soles of my bare feet, but I ignored it.