Exhale Page 5

  “I’ve been wondering the same thing.” I smiled.

  We dumped our trash and held hands as we walked back to Derek’s Jeep. The ride back to Move Night was too short; our goodnight kiss too bittersweet, and the ride home alone in my car was too long.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The next afternoon was spent the same as every other afternoon of my summer so far—at least the ones when I didn’t work—at the beach, my favorite place. There were two beaches in our tiny town of Dansburke, North Carolina—at least that’s what they told all the tourists. If you’re a local, though, you know that it’s just one beach separated by a little stretch of land that has surf shops, smoothie shacks, and souvenir stores. It was South Beach that I loved the most, because it was the beach closest to Skullies and Skullies was my favorite place now for more reasons than just the best crab cakes and hush puppies in town—it was also the place where Derek and I had our first date.

  “God, would you just look at her! I want a tattoo, but even I know better than to get a tramp stamp across my lower back,” Missy said, shaking her head as she laid out her sea green beach towel. “It’s just trashy.”

  I tried to follow her irritated gaze, but couldn’t figure out who she was looking at. Peeling off my tank top, I adjusted the triangles of my bikini top, making sure nothing was showing that shouldn’t be, and glanced around once more. “Who are you even talking about?”

  “Are you serious?” she scoffed, running a thick line of sunblock down her arm to rub in. “Holly Hooker, who else?”

  “Oh,” I glanced around until I found her, she was a good distance away from us, talking and laughing with a group of people, I didn’t really know. Holly was gorgeous, that was the only reason Missy hated her—that and she'd dated Missy’s I-just-can't-live-without-him, he's-my-soul-mate, ultimate crush, Blake Dover, our freshman year. Holly was tall and tan with long, dark hair and a curvy figure. Her looks were natural, too. There was no fake-and-bake tanning, no bottle-blonde highlights, and no mask of makeup painted on. She was just naturally pretty. And her last name was not Hooker, it was Booker.

  “Look at that, I mean what is it…some tribal tattoo or something? It isn’t even pretty,” Missy said, her voice laced with disgust as she continued lathering sunblock all over her exposed skin.

  I shimmied out of my shorts and squinted my eyes against the sunlight to get a better look. “I think it’s flowers or something.”

  “Either way, I don’t like it,” Missy said flatly, wiping her greasy hands on the edge of her towel and piling her blonde curls on top of her head once more.

  I thought it was cute, but didn’t say so. One thing I had learned a long time ago about being Missy's friend, was that you had to learn which battles to pick and which ones were just not worth it. This one was just not worth it.

  I spread out on my towel, closed my eyes, and allowed the sun to kiss my skin. Missy continued talking, but I’d long ago blocked her out. I was stuck between that place where you’re asleep but you’re not. Where you can hear everything going on around you and your body is so rested and relaxed that it tricks you into thinking you’re asleep. This state is pure bliss. Missy’s chatter died down to utter silence suddenly, just before I heard her inhale sharply. Curiosity swam through my mind and I fought with myself internally as to whether or not I should open my eyes to see what had caught her attention, fearful it was something about Holly Booker again.

  “Quick, make yourself look sexier. Here comes lover boy,” Missy whispered, jump-starting my heart. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something. Since it’s Derek that you want and not Kyle…would you mind if I attempted to take Kyle off your hands?”

  I sat up and leaned back against my palms, stretching my legs out in front of me. I struggled to act natural while I searched for Derek. “What are you talking about?”

  “Well, you and Derek aren’t going to be able to hide what’s between the two of you for long, and when Kyle finds out, he’s going to be all depressed…so hello, I’m asking to be the one who helps him through his difficult time.” She winked and flashed me a wicked grin.

  I spotted Derek and Kyle down the beach a little ways walking with a group of guys I recognized from school, tossing a football back and forth between the five of them. They hadn’t noticed us yet; eagle-eyed Missy must have spotted them way down the beach.

  “Umm, I guess.” I shrugged my shoulder to appear nonchalant, but my stomach was really churning. I didn’t want to think about Kyle being hurt by Derek and me being together, but I also didn’t want to think about my best friend trying to take advantage of Kyle during that time either. It seemed twisted. “I don’t know. I mean it’s up to you.”

  “I bet I can make him forget all about you,” Missy said, practically mind-fucking him as he strolled closer to where we sat, oblivious to our conversation.

  My jaw slacked at her bold choice of words. I had never been jealous or envious of the girls that Kyle had flirted with, draped his arms over their shoulders, or slept with—but for whatever reason, I sat there feeling more jealous and irked than ever by the fact that Missy was going to try to get in Kyle’s pants. Kyle wasn’t mine. We’d never dated. We’d never kissed. Nothing. We were just friends. So why this bothered me so much, I couldn’t say. I just knew that it did.

  “Look away,” Missy slapped my thigh. “Pretend we didn’t notice them at all.”

  I licked my lips and turned my head, thankful for the oversized sunglasses I was wearing, because they hid my heated gaze from Missy’s view perfectly. I swallowed hard and hung my head back, trying to shake the burning sensation that was scorching my insides suddenly. What was wrong with me?

  I liked Derek. I loved Derek. I knew this.

  My stomach flamed even more, this time though, it was directed at myself. I was just beginning to realize how twisted I was for still wanting Kyle to like me in a lustful way, even though I only had those feelings for his brother, when I noticed something heading directly toward us from my peripheral vision. A tanned, sculpted body snagged it from midair and landed with a thud right between Missy and me.

  “Oh, my God!” Missy shrieked all flirty like and then giggled. I knew what she was doing instantly, that she was flipping her flirty switch on, and I was surprised at the feelings it stirred within me. I told myself that it didn't matter, that I didn't care what happened between Missy and Kyle, but my stomach told me I was lying.

  “Sorry about that, ladies, how’s it going?” Kyle asked, flashing us both that sexier than sin smile he’d perfected over the years. The smile that I didn't deserve to have directed my way anymore, not after everything that had happened between me and Derek, and especially not after the conversation I’d just had with Missy. There were too many secrets between us all now, too many secrets that didn’t used to be there, too many secrets we were all hiding from Kyle.

  “Great, just soaking up some rays,” Missy said with too much enthusiasm, as she adjusted the tiny triangles of her leopard print bikini top, begging for Kyle's attention. I rolled my eyes and looked away. Jerking my hair tie free from my messy bun, I raked my fingers through my hair and scraped it back into a neater bun on top of my head.

  “Hi,” Kyle said pointedly to me, his warm hand squeezing my knee closest to him. Missy's body visibly tensed beside me from his action and I couldn't help the slight sense of smugness that trickled through me because of it. Make him forget all about me, huh? Fat chance.

  “Hey,” I replied, finally looking in his direction. Movement behind him caught my attention. Derek stood a couple of feet behind Kyle with the others, his eyes staring fixedly at Kyle’s hand resting on my knee.

  “Come on, Kyle. You ready?” Derek shouted. His lips pressed together into a thin line as his eyes bored into Kyle’s back.

  I bounced my knee so that Kyle would take a hint and remove his hand. He did, but I still wished that I hadn’t felt so self-satisfied with his hand there in the first place. It wasn't right and I never wanted
to see that look of insecurity on Derek's face again. A sickness churned through me. Missy could have Kyle. In fact, they had my blessing.

  “We’re headed down to Skullies for something to eat, you guys wanna come?” Kyle asked.

  “Yeah sure, that would be great. I could go for one of their smoothies,” Missy said without missing a beat.

  “Kat?” Kyle prompted, his elbow bumping against my calf when I didn’t answer right away.

  “Yeah, a smoothie sounds good.” I smiled and hoped it looked genuine enough.

  “Cool, I’ll tell the guys to wait up a minute.”

  I stood up as Kyle walked away, tossing the football lightly between his hands, and began shaking out my towel before shoving it in my beach bag.

  “What’s your deal? Are you pissed or something?” Missy asked in a hushed whisper as she did the same with her towel.

  “No, why would I be?” I lied.

  “Okay…” she said, dragging the word out. “If you don’t want me to try to get with Kyle then just tell me and I’ll back off, but at some point, you’ve got to realize that you can’t have them both.”

  “I don't want them both,” I said honestly.

  “Really, you seemed pretty damn happy when his hand was on your knee and not mine.”

  My face flushed. “Well, I wasn't.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, go for it.” I flashed a slight smile her way. “Really.”

  Missy's plump lips stretched into a wide smile as she tossed her beach bag over her shoulder. “All right then!” She started for the guys with a little pep in her step.

  I scooped up my bottle of water and followed. My stomach fluttered as I watched Missy practically jog to Kyle’s side and press up against him. I looked at Derek to distract myself from the inner turmoil I was feeling, and saw the corner of his lips twist into a little smile as I met up with their little group. Butterflies swarmed my stomach at the sight. His fingertip brushed against my thigh ever so slightly as we all began walking in the direction of Skullies. My lips parted from the sensation it caused to jolt through me, and all I wanted was to press my lips to his. I forced my desires down, promising myself that I would be able to do just that at some point tonight one way or another.

  I shifted my gaze to the others, wondering if they had noticed what had just happened between Derek and me, but they all seemed oblivious. The change that had occurred between the two of us was both exhilarating and frightening all at the same time, but I loved every minute of it.

  “Anyone down for a bonfire party here tonight?” Kyle asked, tossing the football he held in his hands high into the sky and then catching it.

  “It’s Sunday,” Derrick said, eyeing him. I noticed how scruffy his jaw was and had a sudden desire to smooth my hand across it. “Don’t you have to work tomorrow morning?”

  “And what? There’s only three weeks left of summer… I for one, brother, plan on enjoying them.”

  “I’m in!” Missy shouted.

  Eric nodded in agreement at my left. “Me too.”

  Chad and Ray seemed to enjoy the idea as well. I thought of the last party I had attended and about how my night had ended with that perfect first kiss. My lips stretched into a smile at the memory, and my mind filled with thoughts of how exciting it would be to sneak off with Derek into the shadows and have a repeat of every kiss we’d shared. I shifted my gaze away from Derek and dropped it to my toes.

  “I’ll go,” I said, hoping no one had noticed the blush that had crept up my neck in the last ten seconds due to my vigorous thoughts, and wondered what I was going to tell my parents in order to get out of the house.

  “Then it’s settled.” Kyle shifted his glare to Derek. “Party tonight. Here.”

  “Fine,” Derek muttered, his gaze meeting mine, but only after Kyle had glanced away. The corners of his mouth twisted up, forming a tiny smile that was meant for only my eyes to see. I reciprocated it with a small one of my own and wondered if Derek was thinking the same thing I was—stolen kisses in the shadows.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “Jane called in. Gwen said it was some sort of a stomach bug. I told her I’d come fill in since she said she couldn’t get ahold of Bobby or Cindy,” I lied, avoiding my father’s eyes at all costs.

  Mom had gone to the movies with Kyle and Derek’s mother about thirty minutes ago, which was good and bad for my impending plans. It was good, because Dad was the easy one—the one who let me get away with most things Mom wouldn’t, the one who was slack on punishment, the one who was more about fun than rules, the one I genuinely hated lying to. It was bad, because Mom would be out in town and there was always the risk of her seeing me where I wasn’t supposed to be, or worse, her not seeing me where I was supposed to be.

  “All right, what time are you supposed to get off tonight?” Dad asked, his brown eyes the same color as mine, shifting from the TV to look directly at me.

  “Ten-ish I guess. Same as always.” The words rolled off my tongue too easily.

  He nodded and picked the remote back up to channel surf some more. “Well, be careful and I’ll see you later.”

  My insides burst with excitement at my success. It shouldn’t have been that easy and I shouldn’t feel this good, not about lying directly to my father’s face, but I couldn’t contain the exhilaration that coursed through my veins. I stood there for an awkward moment as guilt slowly began to eat away at my excitement.

  “You’d better get going,” Dad said, peeking sideways at me with a tiny grin. “Love you.”

  “Yeah—I know.” I spun and headed for my room so I could pick out an outfit that would be easy to hide beneath my Movie Night uniform. “Love you too.”

  * * * *

  I pulled my cherry red, Chevy Aveo into the crowded parking lot and cut the engine. Carefully, I changed out of my uniform, revealing a tiny pair of khaki shorts and a white tank top beneath. Reaching for my purse, I pulled out the blue mesh shirt I’d hidden away in there earlier and tugged it on, carefully placing the wide neckline so that one shoulder was exposed. After smoothing my hair out with my hands, I applied a thin layer of Chapstick, and climbed out.

  Music played from somewhere, combining with laughter and the roar of the ocean. My stomach rolled the closer to the noise I got. Normally, Missy and I would meet up someplace before the parties, or else we would use the age-old parent trick of spending the night at the other’s house in order to be able to go to parties like this together. This time had been different though. We hadn’t been able to use each other as an alibi; instead, we’d had to fabricate our own lie because of our little tussle from earlier and the unnecessary tension surrounding it. I wasn’t sure what she had used, but I was positive it was something golden. Missy was a skillful liar.

  I crossed the wooden bridge that led over the shrub and sand dunes down to the beach as my stomach fluttered with even larger butterflies. I kicked off my flip-flops and pushed them to the side as everyone else had as soon as I reached the white sand. It was still warm from the hot afternoon sun beating down on it. Sinking my toes in deeper, I pulled in a deep breath and searched through the crowds for any familiar faces.

  After a few minutes, I realized Kyle hadn’t been the only one with the idea of throwing a party here tonight. From where I stood, I could count three separate fires glowing in the night. People were everywhere—sitting in folding chairs, on towels, or in the sand—sipping from plastic cups or beer bottles. I wondered how long the parties had all been going on here, and if and when they would get broken up by the police.

  Glancing around, I took a few steps forward as I attempted to find my group. I didn’t have to search or stand there awkwardly for long, because Kyle’s loud, drunken laughter filled my ears. It was like following a homing beacon and I zeroed in.

  “Katie, you finally made it!” Missy squealed, draping her arm over my shoulder, the alcohol on her breath nearly burning my eyes. Guess she wasn’t aggravated with me anymore.


  “When did you guys get here?” I asked. I wasn’t that late, was I? Sure I had taken some time trying to think of a lie, but not that much. I looked around. It was a bit dusky out, but not too dark yet.

  “Oh, Kyle and I have been here for awhile now,” Missy said, flashing me another one of her famous wicked smiles. “You know that guy Brian, the one who was in your English class last year? Well him and some others decided to have a party here tonight too, so we hung out at theirs for a little while before starting up a fire of our own.”

  “Yeah, Chad and Ray and everyone else are here already. We’ve just been waiting for you and Derek to get here,” Kyle said. “Now that you’re here, we can really begin the party,” he added suggestively, placing his tipsy hands on my waist.

  Missy’s face tightened as she narrowed her eyes at me. She reached for my hand and began tugging me away from Kyle’s grasp. “C’mon, let’s get you something to drink.” She steered me over to where all the alcohol sat in red and blue coolers off to the side. “I almost had him buttered up to me until you came along.”

  I chuckled at her behavior. I thought by her bubbly greeting that we had passed all of that, but apparently not. “I didn’t do anything. I only walked over to you guys when I saw you because I figured Derek would be close by.” I glanced around once more, but still didn’t see him anywhere.

  “He isn’t here yet, but after we get you a drink, I’ll help you look for him again,” Missy said. We stopped in front of an oversized red cooler, beside a couple locking lips sitting on a beach towel. “And there’s Mr. Dreamy now.”

  I glanced in the direction Missy had been staring at as I bent down to retrieve a Bud Light from the cooler. Derek was making his way across the wooden bridge. He stopped at the edge, crammed his hands into the front pockets of his cargo shorts, and began searching the massive crowd in front of him the same way I had. I twisted the top off my beer as I came back up and tossed the cap into the metal burn barrel behind the cooler, all without taking my eyes off of him.