Connected (Gem Creek Bears Book 5) Page 3

  “That’s cool,” she said. Then, she nodded to one of my suitcases. “Do you need help unpacking?”

  I didn’t, but because I felt bad for snapping at her, I told her that I did. We started with the largest suitcase Rafe had left beside the door. It had my alarm clock, hair care products, shoes, and other odds and ends. Once we were finished unpacking what we could, we moved to the next suitcase. The more we unpacked, the more Ruby felt like home. A sense of warmth coursed through me because no place had felt like home since my mom passed.

  I knew then that coming to Gem Creek had been the right decision.

  Chapter Three

  I grabbed another handful of Cheez-Its, thankful Tris had thought to stock Ruby with a few of my favorite snack items and some other food options. She was seriously the best.

  “I still can’t believe I’m here,” I said before popping one of the cheesy crackers in my mouth. “None of this is real.” Sadness weighted my words.

  Tris grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m sure.” Her tone was soft, yet controlled. I knew I was making her uncomfortable—she’d never been one for awkward silences or heavy conversations. Neither was I, but this was different. It couldn’t be avoided. “I honestly don’t know what to say.” She released my hand and flashed me a slight smile.

  “You don’t have to say anything. Listening to me and just being here helps.” I popped another cracker in my mouth and glanced around. “Thanks for talking Liam into letting me stay here for a while.”

  “I didn’t talk him into anything. He wanted you to stay here as much as I did. He knows how much you mean to me, and he gets what you’re going through. I think everyone in the clan does. They’ve all lost someone they loved before.”

  My chest tightened. I knew her words were meant to make me feel better, but they didn’t. All they’d done was make my sadness hit harder. This campground was full of people who’d lost loved ones. How could I take comfort in that?

  Tris grabbed another peanut butter cup from the bag between us and unwrapped it. She wanted to say something more, I could tell, but she hesitated.

  “What?” I asked, unable to handle the energy shift.

  Her teeth sank into her bottom lip. When her eyes lifted to lock with mine, I could see something sparking in their color. Excitement?

  “You know you don’t have to leave here, right? You can stay,” she said. Tris popped her peanut butter cup in her mouth and chewed. “Like, you can live here. Permanently.”

  I blinked. Live here permanently? Was that something I wanted?

  “You don’t have to decide right now,” Tris said.

  “I know. I just—I hadn’t thought about it. Thinking of the future isn’t something I’ve been able to do lately.”

  “I’m sure.” Her eyes softened. “Just know that it’s an option, okay?”

  My mind reeled. What would staying in Gem Creek mean for me? I’d be close to Tris for one thing. We’d practically be neighbors, which was something we had always wanted when we were little. Also, I’d be able to afford the rent on Ruby since it wasn’t much. Gem Creek was nice. I could call this place home.

  The only problem was I’d be an oddball.

  The other full-timers here were bear shifters, and I was human. I’d be part of the clan, but not really. It would be awkward.

  Wouldn’t it?

  “I think everyone would love having you here,” Tris said, pulling me from my thoughts. “I know I would.”

  “I’d like it, too.” I smiled.

  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. The people here were nice. They were welcoming. Heck, they’d even let me come to Tris’s celebration ceremony when she became a full clan member without issue. They didn’t seem to care that I was human. I highly doubted they’d make me feel like an outcast.

  “How about we go for a swim?” A mischievous look entered Tris’s eyes.

  I wrinkled my nose. “A swim?”

  “Yep. A midnight swim.” She wiggled her brows. “Come on. We’ll have the pool all to ourselves, and I know it’s clean because I saw Nash clean it earlier. No public bath germs.”

  She knew me so well.

  “Since you said it was cleaned today,” I said, flashing her a grin. “Sure.”

  “Awesome. Grab your suit. Let’s head to my place so I can get mine, and the key for the gate from Liam. You can change there, and I’ll grab us some towels too.”

  I dug through the storage cubby beneath one of the booth seats in search of my suit. Once I found it, we made our way to Tris’s place. Liam had left the porch light on for her, and when we stepped inside, I noticed the kitchen light had been left on too.

  “How sweet. He left lights on for you,” I teased.

  Tris rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”

  I might give her crap about being with Liam and how sweet they were together, but it was only because I was jealous of what they had. I’d never had someone treat me the way he treated her. There was so much love, respect, and loyalty between the two of them. I found myself wishing for that more often than not when I was in their presence. Especially now, it would be so nice to have someone be my rock so I wouldn’t have to rely on Tris so much. I didn’t want to burden her. She’d already done so much for me.

  “It’s only because I told him I wasn’t sure if I’d be spending the night with you or if I’d just come home later.”

  She opened the front door and slipped off her sandals before stepping inside. I did the same. The scent of lemon cleaner hung in the air. I realized then this was the first time I’d been inside. My gaze drifted around, soaking in the decor. This place was nothing like I’d thought it would be. It was easy to spot the things Tris had added, like the fluffy throw blanket on the couch. She’d always been a sucker for those.

  “This place is nice,” I said.

  “Thanks. It was Liam’s parents’ cabin. I guess most of the furniture and stuff is theirs, but he’s added a few things here and there to make it his.” She flashed me a grin. “And I’ve added a few things to make it mine too.”

  “I see that.” I pointed to the blanket on the couch.

  “I like to be comfy when I’m watching TV.”

  “I know.”

  “There’s a bathroom through there you can use to change in. I’ll head upstairs and get my suit on. Then, I’ll grab us a couple towels,” Tris insisted.

  “Okay, thanks.”

  She crept up the stairs, and I made my way to the bathroom. A cluster of framed pictures caught my eye on a table. One was of a young couple, snuggled close. If I had to guess, I’d say they were Liam’s parents. Something about both of their faces reminded me of him and his brothers. Another picture was of Liam and his brothers, their arms all draped over one another as they stood in a line. It looked like a recent picture. Then, there was one of Liam and Tris. It had been taken at one of the bonfires in the backyard. I could see the tips of the fire’s flickering flames. It lit up both of their faces, intensifying their features. Tris was in Liam’s lap. They both were holding a beer and had smiles plastered on their faces. They looked happy and perfect together. A smile twisted my lips. Tris deserved happiness after everything she’d been through. So did Liam.

  And so do you, a tiny voice in the back of my head said.

  I exhaled a slow breath and then continued to the bathroom. Maybe one day. Right now, happiness was the last thing I wanted. It didn’t seem fair to my mother to be any shade of happy right now.

  The water was still warm when I dipped my toes in, testing it. The sharp scent of chlorine stung my nose. Proof the pool had been cleaned earlier today.

  “Get in,” Tris insisted. She floated on her back, looking up at me. “What are you waiting for?”

  “You know I’ve never been the type to just dive right in. I have to ease myself into it.”

  “Yeah, the only thing you ease into. Everything else you dive in headfirst.” She chuckled.

  “Which is one of the things you love about me,�
�� I said, splashing her as I eased in farther.

  She wiped water from her eyes. “Don’t get something started.”

  I inched farther into the pool and then shifted around until I was able to float on my back. The weightless sensation was blissful. I wished I could take it with me after leaving the pool. It would make life so much easier right now.

  Tris and I floated in silence for a minute, but I knew it wouldn’t last long. Tris hated silence.

  “So, was it hard leaving Opal Pine?” Tris asked. I could hear the hesitation in her voice; it let me know the question had been on her mind since I arrived. “When I left, I was in such a hurry I didn’t have time to think about what I was doing. It wasn’t a conscious decision since Corbin and Ezra’s pack were after me.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut, hating the reminder of all the crap she’d been through. She must have been so scared while fleeing town. When I opened my eyes, I shifted around in the water and swam to a shallow section. When I was able to stand without drowning, I locked eyes with Tris. “No. It wasn’t. As horrible of a daughter as this might make me sound, it was actually a relief to leave town—like a welcomed relief.” The words stung as they left my mouth, but I felt better for saying them. Talking with Tris always made me feel better.

  In the dim light from the lamppost that stood a few feet away, I could see the area between her brows pucker. “What do you mean? Why would that make you a horrible daughter?”

  I exhaled a puff of air. “Because I probably should’ve stayed instead of putting the house on the market and packing up my mom’s stuff so soon. I should still be in bed, crying, mourning, and barely able to breathe.” I blinked and swallowed hard. Even though I knew I could tell Tris anything without judgment, I still felt judged. Not by her, but by myself. “And, I’m not. I left town. I ran.”

  “People handle grief differently. What people tell you that you should do might not even be what they’d actually do in your situation. Whatever you choose to do is what’s right for you. You’re mourning her in your own way. Just because you don’t look like you’re broken from the outside doesn’t mean your insides aren’t shattered because she’s gone.” She flashed me a small smile. “Give yourself grit and grace. The grit to get through this, and the grace to do it with kindness. Isn’t that what your mom always said?”

  I nodded. Tears welled up in my eyes, and for the first time since my mom took her final breath, I cried. They were big, fat tears. They fell and mingled with the pool water as sobs shook me.

  “I’m so sorry, Penny,” Tris said. She crossed the pool and pulled me into a hug.

  I squeezed her tight. “Don’t be,” I muttered between sobs. “I needed to hear that. I needed to hear the way I’m handling this is okay, and that it doesn’t make me a shit daughter. And I loved hearing you say to give myself grit and grace. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. You’re doing the best you can. That’s all anyone can ask of you, even yourself.” She squeezed me tighter as another sob shook me. “Grit and grace, girl. Grit and grace. You’ve got this.”

  “I know.” I sniffled as I untangled myself from her hug. “You’re right. I’ve got this. Grit and grace.” I wiped my tears and flashed her a small smile.

  “Exactly. You know, I think that’s tattoo worthy. We should get grit and grace tattooed on us in honor of your mom.”

  My smile widened. “That’s a great idea. I’ll pay for both,” I said, wiping my eyes.

  “Nope. I’m buying.”

  “I have my mom’s life insurance policy money and I also have money coming when the house sells. I’m buying. End of discussion.”

  Tris held up her hands in surrender. “Fine.”

  I leaned on my back and floated in the water, enjoying the sense of lightness that came with having finally cried.

  “Want to race?” Tris asked after a few minutes passed.

  “One thing about you that will never change is your middle school swimmer side—it’s always going to be there.” I chuckled. Tris was always looking for a race anytime she was in water.

  “You’re probably right.” She laughed as she pushed herself off the side of the pool and did a flip beneath the water to turn around. “Think you can finally beat me?”

  I flipped over and treaded water. There was no way I’d ever be able to beat her. She’d always been a fish in water.

  Still, I had to try.

  “Let me warm up,” I said.

  “Okay.” She grinned. “If you think it will help.”

  I glared at her and then began my imperfect breast stroke. After I swam a few warm-up laps, we set up to race one another. Both times, Tris stayed in the lead. I didn’t stand a chance, but it was a blast all the same.

  “I swear, you are part mermaid,” I said, climbing out and grabbing a towel. I was out of breath, and my limbs burned. Swimming was a great workout.

  Tris grabbed a towel and dried her hair. “I’m not, but that doesn’t mean mermaids don’t exist.”

  “True.” I opened my mouth to say something else, but the expression on her face morphed into one of high alert and her eyes brightened. I knew her bear had come to the surface. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m not sure.” Her head tipped to the side in a slow, animalistic way. She inhaled and her eyes brightened even more. Goose bumps prickled across my skin. “Maybe I imagined it, but I could’ve sworn I caught a whiff of someone familiar. For a second, it felt like someone was staring at us too.”

  My heart skipped a beat. I glanced around, searching for anyone who might be in the shadows. With my human eyes, I couldn’t see anyone, but I knew that didn’t mean there wasn’t someone there. A shiver slipped up my spine, and I wrapped my towel around my body tighter.

  “Who do you think it was?” I asked.

  “I don’t know.”

  The way her eyes darted around with their eerie bright color in the night freaked me out. “You said you thought it was someone familiar—someone like a clan member?”

  “Maybe.” She pursed her lips together and then exhaled a slow breath. “It could’ve been Rafe trying to get a peek at you in your bathing suit.” She wiggled her brows.

  I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”

  “Never know. I think he has the hots for you.”

  “He does not,” I said, even though part of me hoped she was right. Butterflies burst into flight in the pit of my stomach, and I felt my face warm. I shifted away from her to slip on my sandals, trying to keep from smiling. “Besides, I’m not interested. Dating is the last thing I need to be focused on right now.”

  “I get that, but you do know your mom would want you to be happy, right? Regardless of how soon that happiness finds you after her passing.” Tris flipped her head over and wrapped her hair in her towel. Then, she slipped on her sandals. “Rafe is a decent guy—all of the Orsin brothers are—and you can’t tell me you don’t feel something for him. I see it when you look at him.”

  “There is something there. An attraction. A connection. I’m not denying that. I’m just saying it’s not the right time. I don’t want to get involved with someone when my head is so messed up from losing my mom. It wouldn’t be fair. And I don’t want a hookup either.”

  I wanted something lasting, but I didn’t say so. Not because I thought Tris would make fun of me for it, but because I hadn’t admitted it to myself fully until now.

  Honestly, I wanted what she had with Liam.

  “I understand that, and I’m not trying to seem pushy, but I don’t think that’s what you’d get with Rafe. A hookup, I mean. I think it would be something more,” Tris said, her tone soft.

  I didn’t say anything. Instead, I tipped my head toward the sky to take in the stars. Tris yawned after a few minutes, and I realized how late it must be.

  “You should head home and get some sleep,” I suggested.

  She waved my words away. “Oh, I’m good.”

  “No, you’re dog tired. I can see it.”

  Sh
e yawned again. “I am beat. Do you want me to walk you back to Ruby?”

  “Nah. I’m going to hang here for a little while. The stars are out.” A smile twisted my lips as I glanced up at them again. “I can’t remember how long it’s been since I looked at them.”

  “They are pretty.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to keep you company for a little longer?” she asked after yawning once more. “I don’t mind.”

  I shook my head and stepped to the edge of the pool. After slipping my sandals off again, I situated myself on the concrete edge to dangle my legs in the water. “I’m good. You go get some sleep. You look like you could use it.”

  “Gee, thanks.” She scoffed. “Is that a nice way of telling me I look like crap?”

  “Pretty much.” I grinned.

  Tris shoved me playfully and then walked to the gate door in the fencing. “You’re so nice to me.” I watched her unlatch the gate and then pause to glance back at me. Her expression softened. “Are you sure you don’t want me to sit with you for a little longer?”

  “I’ll be fine. I won’t be out here much longer. I just need a second to myself, then I’ll head back to Ruby and call it a night.”

  “Okay. Well, text me when you wake.”

  “I will.”

  She pushed her way through the gate and disappeared into the darkness. I shifted my gaze back to the sky, soaking in the stars dotting the infinite blackness. My throat grew thick, signaling the onset of tears. I sank my teeth into my bottom lip as I continued to stare at the sky. It made me feel small and alone, but a sense of comfort trickled through me too.

  “I miss you, Mom,” I whispered.

  So many memories of lying on an old blanket with her in our backyard, staring up at the night sky, flooded my mind. We had sucked at pointing out the constellations, even with the help of apps, but it never stopped us from trying. We joked about seeing UFOs and always wished we’d see a shooting star.

  We never saw either.

  A single tear slid down my cheek as I remembered another of my mom’s famous sayings. There are two things that can make you feel small while shocking you with their beauty—sitting beneath a starry sky and standing before the ocean.